Latched window and the closed door

I often look back at things, I often need some introspection to find out what I did right and what all went wrong. I listen to music, sometimes pass my time writing, rarely I would sketch something but most of the time I keep myself occupied thinking about all sorts of things, mostly related to myself in some direct sense. I'm not yet mature enough to qualify my actions appropriate or childlike. Before doing something even now at times I think very little, not weighing the consequences or what all my actions might translate into. Next month I'll turn 22 and I am yet to grow up.

I often walk to Abhinav's room to talk. In a way he is a lot different from any other friend I have here at college. Actually everyone is different, be it pseudo-intellectual talks with iSid or discussing about personal life with Ayush. Abhishek is always in a mood to tease while Siddharrth is always there to make me realize that there would always be people who are far lazier than I am. Aatish would walk past me while discussing what to do with our respective professional lives, while simply greeting others on my way to room is sufficient with most of my hostel mates.

Abhinav sometimes exaggerates way too much that things might appear impossible but in some ways he gives the hint of how things really are. We talk about all sorts of things and he leaves no chance to make me realize that I’m still away from the real world. Sarcastically I said that may be people still think that I’m not old enough to share some sorts of talks, he took less than a second to portray my statement as truth.

I often think, is it part of my nature, or the cloak of values and ethics that has led me to lead this life containing constraints I have set for myself. I often ask myself if my behavior is synonymous to the conservative attitude. I have, depending on the expectations of others, my own past experiences and also words of wisdom from people who matter have set some rules for me. There are certain things that I have decided would shape my life in a way I want.

I try my best to be good to everyone. Sometimes I do well, sometimes I fail too. But nonetheless, I try not to offend anyone in anyway. But acting well, at least to some people, is it always the right approach? I live a life which is very different from the people who are around me. I'm not someone who would crumble under peer pressure, but at some point in time, I’m bound to realize that may be my definition of happiness was not perfect. Should I have tried to change? Or am I the best the way I am? But what's the use of all these polite gestures when there's no one to appreciate. Should I be content with just my self appreciation? Or should I go with the flow of the times. There is a lot to answer. I'm yet to find them out. 

I’m different and I don’t like bragging about it. I don’t impose my thoughts on anyone and don’t expect them to do so either. So what exactly is the right way, the one I’m leading or the one which I could have? I see from a distance people enjoying different things, but I am always at a distance, prohibiting myself from all. Important thing is being aware of everything. And while talking with Abhinav, I always have come face to face with reality, though an exaggerated version, but I can always alter them to fit the possibilities that exist.

Whatever I say or write might not always make sense to you, the one who is reading it. I would not like to explain it either. But the interesting thing is, how you would interpret it. There are only a few people who would know what I mean, and that’s what makes it so exciting. So am looking at my inbox, may be I’ll get a message or two asking and clarifying. I’m waiting.

The helping hand

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her new Honda Civic and got out. His old car was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in you. He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Rahul Mehra.”

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Rahul crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from Dehradoon and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Rahul just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Rahul never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Rahul added, “And think of me.”

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old petrol pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Rahul.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a thousand rupee note. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.”

Under the napkin were nine more 1000 rupee notes.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due in a couple of month, it was going to be hard.

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Rahul Mehra.”

Together we win

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be – a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger – but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. But sometimes inspiration comes from people you don’t really expect would inspire you. And those are the ones that leave the deepest impact on you.

I was in 3^rd year of my graduation. The college had organized a sports meet and I was the member of student organizing team. IIT Delhi being a reputed college, the sports meet had to be a big event. As our side events, we decided to organize some events for physically disabled children from a nearby school. We thought it would be best to organize it along with the opening ceremony, otherwise gathering audience for the event would have been problem. Turned out that it was the best decision we took.

After the march past of all the participating colleges and a speech by our institute director, a 100 meter race was scheduled for the disabled kids. Nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line. All the college students were waiting eagerly for best march past award to be declared. The stadium was jam packed. We thought that it would turn out as an encouragement for the kids to perform in front of such a large audience.

At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win. All the participants slowly started running, the best they could do, except one boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, fell down and began to cry. The other eight heard him, slowed down and looked back. Every one of them stopped running, before any volunteer could reach the boy to assist him, they all went back to him. One girl with Down's syndrome bent down and kissed him and said, "This will make it better."

They slowly picked the boy up and consoled him. Then something happened that none of us really expected. All nine linked arms and walked across the finish line together. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes.

The aim of organizing the race was to give those little kids some confidence, but rather they taught us a lesson. There are things which matter more than winning. What truly matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course. They taught us all to win together.