I hat luv storys... do i?

Disclaimers: As I believe, two of my closest friends are going to think that the recent incidents related to them have inspired me to write this post, I would like to tell them that I had already given this post a thought well in advance even before you said for the first time “Jiya” or “Princess”. Sorry Allan and Maverick, this was the only way I could give your reference. No offence to you either Golu, Banno, MJ or Eddy.

So, what is this post all about? Let me tell you, this is the first time I’m going out of my comfort zone when writing is concerned. Till now, most of my posts had plots around me. This is different. Also, I am presenting two different ideas at the same time. Obviously, most of you know which stand I generally take. So, I hope you would like to see the other half of my psychology map. As of now, all I can do is hope you enjoy my post. So let the curtain raise.

Sarah and Shaun met for the first time at Sip-n-Bite café. Sarah, came to that place with her school time friend and Shaun with his department friends for a lunch as mess food provided him no inspiration to walk a couple of miles. For obvious reasons, Shaun and his friends decided to occupy the table right next to Sarah’s.

Around a year later.

Sarah: Well, I still can’t figure out why you behaving so awkwardly.

Shaun: I’m not. Did I do anything which I don’t do normally?

Sarah: Not exactly. But for last few days, you haven’t really acted the way I have always seen you.

Shaun (smirkingly): That’s because I think I’m in love.

Sarah: Oh! I see. So, you think you are in love.

Shaun: Of course I am.

Sarah: You didn’t take a long time to go from “I think” to “of course”.

Shaun: Come on!

Sarah: Whatever. May I know who the (sarcastically) lucky girl is?

Shaun: That I leave to you to figure out.

Sarah: Seriously, you are my best friend. But still, I can’t really think of a single name.

Shaun: Exactly, as I expected.

Sarah: May I have the pleasure to know the reason for the same?

Shaun: Because, I think you are in utter need to rejuvenate the romantic part of yours, you need to be in a relationship.

Sarah: I wasn’t expecting that from you. You know me so well.

Shaun: Hey! What’s wrong with you? I mean, being with someone you care for, someone you think of all the day, someone whom you find right besides you all the time, someone you share everything with, someone you love is such a nice feeling.

Sarah: I don’t really know why this relationship thingy matters so much in one’s life. Can’t the person for whom you care, with whom you share anything, whom you always find beside yourselves when you need someone be just your friend?

Shaun: What about, “someone you love”?

Sarah: Explain me what love is.

Shaun: I can’t. It’s something you can’t explain. It’s something you just feel.

Sarah: OK. Tell me whatever you feel.

Shaun: I feel nice just to see her around. I can’t really think of anything else when I’m with her. I see myself looking into her eyes, and just looking into her eyes. I know she’s going to be with the one I’m gonna spend rest of my life with.

Sarah: Are you sure?

Shaun: Sure of what?

Sarah: Sure that you are going to spend the rest of your life with her.

Shaun: Hmmmm. Yea! Why not?

Sarah: Don’t ask me “why not”. Ask yourself “Why”.

(Pause)

Sarah: Do you realize that all that you see around yourself is part of the imaginary world that you have created for yourself.

Shaun: I’m imagining nothing.

Sarah: Indeed. You are dreaming.

Shaun: Why do you think so?

Sarah: Don’t just think about the “feel good” factor. There are obviously other things you should ponder upon.

Shaun: For me, happiness and being content is all that matters. Her smile, that’s all I want.

Sarah: That’s what I was talking about. Be rational.

Shaun: Be real.

Sarah: PJ!!!!

Shaun: Seriously. Everyone needs someone, you can’t disagree with that.

Sarah: I agree. But at our age, the relationships are not that serious that you can expect them to continue for long. Obviously, if you care for someone, then you definitely develop feelings for that person. Intense friendships should never be mistaken to be commitment.

Shaun: Why do you think it’s not gonna last long?

Sarah: Your attitude, “Everyone needs someone”, has forced you to think that it’s time you get into a commitment. There is a difference between being committed and being into a relationship.

Shaun: I don’t get your point. All I know is, she understands everything what I mean. So do I. I know, I’m not going to find a better girl throughout my life.

Sarah: Was she your friend, before you developed feelings for her?

Shaun: She was and she is, a really good one indeed.

Sarah: Do I know her?

Shaun: May be, or maybe not. I’m not gonna tell ya. What’ll be fun then? You will have to figure it out yourself.

Sarah: Alright. The point is that she was once your friend.  I don’t really get what actually is the difference between a very good friend of opposite gender and a person you are into a relationship with. You can obviously share everything with both of them. You can do anything to see them smiling. You tease both of them for being fat. Before deciding the toppings of Domino’s pizza, you consider her/his choice. You would not go for vanilla shake if she/he likes chocolate more. The only difference may be that you don’t get physical. But as apparent, at least in our college, most of the pairings are due to emotional attachments, not the other way round.

Shaun: I agree, I don’t lust for her. I love her. Obviously, I can share anything with both, a friend as well as her, I wanna see both smiling, pizza thingy too, tease them both as well, but still the feeling I get in doing all these is way too different in both the cases.

Sarah: Let us welcome the “Feelings” thingy once again.

Shaun: Oh! You don’t get my point. I see myself with her in future. That’s not the case when a friend is concerned. You wouldn’t feel it unless you get out of your “Say NO to relationships” outfit that you are always wearing.

Sarah: If you are into a relationship just because it’s a source of fun or you wish to experience something which you haven’t yet, then you are among the worst breeds of homo sapiens to exist.

Shaun: You wouldn’t understand.

Sarah: I doubt it.

Shaun: But I’m sure you won’t.

Sarah: Why’s that.

Shaun: It’s because, you can’t feel, you can’t notice signs.

Sarah: Oh really! Which signs did I not interpret?

Shaun: That I….

Alright guys. It was not my genre. I just tried something different. Now some of you might question, my choice of names. Shaun, to be precise, as you all know, is my anagram. But you know it better that my way of thinking is more like Sarah’s. I chose to turn things a little bit around as I didn’t want to it to relate to me in any way. Moreover, I wanted to see emotional aspect of a guy, instead of the gal. Was I a success? That’s for you to decide.


Till then,
Keep reading, keep commenting.
K@ushik

Facts known recently:

·         No matter, what you do. It’s so hard to improve upon your CG.

·         Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon. (Srijan, try them all)

·         Dolphins sleep with one eye open. ( Thank god, Abhinav is not a dolphin)

P.S. Messages:

Aatish, Abhishek, Arpit, Abhinav, Siddharth: We are not going to Goa, no matter what.

Aatish, Arpit: :D

Viji jiji: iPhone, please!!!

Pawan, Jay, Dheeraj, Harsh, Somya, Avishek, Ankita: Next time, you people are going to ensure that I get good grades. I don’t know how, but I know that you will have to.

Ghanshyam, Arpit, Balsher, iSid: Same applies to you as well, I mean regarding grades and all.

Dhruv: Ayush ko bhi chill marna sikha.

Ayush: Chill marna seekh.

Lalasa: Chocolate fudgeof Nirula’s is awesome. Try it.

Ankur: Congrats for the dassi.

Srijan: What’s the count buddy. You know what I’m referring to.

Shubhankar: When are you coming to meerut?

Esha, Naman, Shashank, Sonia: I dedicate this blog to our conversation on my facebook status. I think my next blog post will be that discussion only.

All: Comment is must. Last post had so little comments. Am shattered.

Chronicles of Kaushik

Disclaimers: This post was written by me at 4 AM, so obviously I was not in freshest state of my mind. Hence due to some reasons, I may have skipped your name. Please don’t mind. Every person, whom I’ve ever met, has played some part or the other in making me what I am today. So cheers!!! Lets rock.

My last post brought with it a very negative aura. Some of you appreciated my being straight forward, while some could not understand what I actually wanted to convey. So here I come with a post that will bring out all the positivity of my life. I will write about every person who has been of some importance in my life. Sorry, bros and sis, this post is exclusively dedicated to my friends.

The very first friend of mine, whom I remember, just by name, is Arjun. We used to sit together in Nursery and KG. I never met him again later, and I am sure, that whatever I do, I will not be able to find him again. We used to sit together and that’s it. I don’t remember anything else. At home I was friends with Nitin, Amit, Manu, I am in contact with them even now. We used to ride bicycle, play cricket and all those childhood games which had an existence by then.

In subsequent classes I came to know more people. Spandan, Ankit Kumar, Ankit Nehra, Siddharth Garg, Manav Singhal, Uday Pratap, Kunal, Meetu. I remember all these. We studied together for around 5 years. I remember I switched school in 6^th standard. By then, we used to play, compete in academics(LOL), discuss cartoons, wrestling and what not. We used to play pen-fight in every spare second that we used to get then. It used to be all fun, I used to scan Dad’s cupboard for a heavy pen. I used to watch cartoons throughout the day just because I wanted to be the one leading the discussions. It is that part of my memory, that I remember faintly, nut still cherish the most.

Then I came to DMA, the place, where I grew up. In my admission interview I met Harsh Jangwal. You can call him, the first friend of mine at the new school. Nilay Sahay was the next one. On the very first day, I sat with Ankit Chaudhary. Consequently, as days progressed, I befriended Rishab Singh, Akash Singh, Sachin Verma, Nitish Bhasin, Ankit Sharma, Shagun Maheshwari, Neha Rajput, Shubahm Tayal, Shashank Shekhar, Manu Agarwal, Anhinav Verma and many more. With some friendship had to intensify. Rishab and Akash had to be the ones. Nest year, came to school a hunk named Shubhankar. I don’t know whether girls used to ooh for him, but I’m sure he made many people jealous. But he was destined to be one of my best friends. Best friend till date and will continue to be so.

In those times, I mean 6^th to 8^th standard, I enjoyed the most. I realized the true meaning of unity. We all used to bunk Arts classes together, just cause it was scheduled after our games period. During the whole session, we attended just two classes, I guess. During the rest, we used to stand outside the class, discussing, what all could be the possible excuse. Our discussions shifted from cartoons to club football, computer games and cricket of course. We all used to eat tiffin during the class, and play together during the recess. Cricket with foil balls and lunch boxes, chain, tadam tadi are among the few games I remember. Music class used to be amazing. We used to play our keyboards throughout the day, with least possible volume levels. We never got caught. The remarks, we used to get in Almanac. Ah! They made us tell lies. Thanks to Shubhankar, as he somehow managed a spare Almanac in 8^th which served the purpose of the whole class.

We moved on! 9^th and 10^th… Oh! The only time, when the Girls:Boys ratio of the class was more than one. I remember 30:24. Still, at least I was confined to Shubahnkar, Rishab, Sachin, Akash. This was the very year, when 5-STARS was formed, the only named group of DMA so far, as known to us.

Shubhankar

Tarun

Akash

Rishab

Sachin

Take first letter of each, and you will get name of our group. We even signed a contract. Remember guys? I met more people. Paawan, Arjun, Pritesh, Kshitiz, Anuj, Manmohan Singh, Prateek and many more. These people were hell lot fun. Our fun ranged from discussing latest music to solving questions during the NTSE classes. During this period, I met for the first time, Snehil Basoya. At first meets he and Paras, seemed to be just normal maggu guys. Later on, however, as time passed, we developed a strong bond. Time passed and I moved on.

It was 11^th. We all had to separate. I had taken computers as my elective. In my section, I was left with just Shubhankar. I befriended Dev, Prafull, Nishant,Shivam. I wouldn’t say 11^th was as much fun as the previous classes were, but still, it proved to be the most valueable year of my life. The friendship between me and Shubhs strengthened further, as we had grown up, as we had crush on the same girl. And we weren’t courageous enough to talk with her even. We knew we both liked her, but still we disagreed to each other. It used to be fun, as we used to tease each other by her name. We still do so.

During the recess, of course Rishab and Akash used to join us. And we, together used to get a hell out of us.

Also during this time, I for the first time had friends outside school, courtesy VMC. Ankur Gupta, Aman, Aditya : the trio used to rock. So did Girish and Shashank. Abhishek Jain, Srijan: fande wale log. Jatin Batra: what to say about him. Sonia: the online friend. Paras and Snehil obviously were there too. McDonald’s, Domino’s, they were all there in central market. TS used to be long time discussions. One universal fact also popped out during that very year. Ankur Gupta once introduced to your friends well later be the bridge between you and the friend you introduced Ankur to. Srijan and I sometimes discussed harry potter. During my way to coaching and way back, I and Snehil used to discuss every aspect of school. I’m sure, our cab driver knows more about DMA than Rishab did. LOL. VMC also introduced me to Ashish Gupta nad Anurag Singh, with whom I used to discuss my favorite. politics.

Well, farewells, boards, JEE, IIT.

Shivalik House, my next home. The first person I met here was Aatish, then Abhishek, then Abhinav and then I don’t remember. Dhruv, Aayush, Ankit, Rohit, Karan, Siddharth, Devansh were all to join is then after. Later on the group shortened. It was confined to Aatish becoming Nalla, Siddharth becoming Gangi, Abhinav becoming Katta, Ayush becoming SKD, Abhishek becoming Shakey, And I becoming TK.

First sem, I was mostly confined to these people only. Even in my department, I rarely talked to anyone except a few. My group mates, I hardly talked to anyone save Rohit.

My first sem would be remembered for

·         My first crush at IIT, which was forced actually.

·         The last day Masti after Majors.

·         My LP drawing on the wall.

·         Street play and chess.

And many more of course.

Hey, what’s going on. Second Semister saw a change in me. I no longer used to go to R2. Liabrary became a better place to visit. I was introduced to Group 1, Civil. Pawan, Jay, Harsh, Somya, Ankita, Avishek, Abhishek, Rahul,  most importantly Arpit Gupta. 2^nd sem was the time when I found one more best friend of mine, Arpit Gupta. This was the time when I befriended Abhishek, attaché, who used to suffer the most, being the lone MCA wala in our group. The house days, never ending ED tuts, more RCA activities and much more. I was also for the first time introduced to ISC janta. Though, I hardly remembered any till the first event.

3^rd sem. More friends, more friends, more friends. That’s all that has been so far. I learned to make best friends, even after a few meets. It was also time to know the fachchas. Also, ISC events made me to befriend seniors in a better way. Mittal and Madhav to be precise. This sem, also brought me closer to people from other hostel , obviously ISC reps. More friends in form of Nilesh, with whom discussing chicks is the best way to pass time. Sarneet,oh my, she’ll never let you get bored, she has always something to tell, in which she ultimately ends up running from the guard. Rheshabh, the story teller, the stories in which people are always same and drunk,only their location and the after effects vary. Shweta, reminds me of Kareena in jab we met, though a little bit low in intensity. Aditya, the only machaoo guy in the ISC. Dilpreet, Ankur, Pranjay, Anmol, Rahul.  The last three months has introduced me to maximum no. of people throughout my life and also to my second crush at IIT.

I always used to think, I had a limited social circle, but not really. When I look back now, I realize, how wrong I was. So many people I can call my friends. From Arjun to Vaibhav Kalani. They all were my friends. They are all my friends. They all will be my friends.

I was browsing through my previous posts, and now I realize, that I needed to write more. That makes me feel light. I write a diary, but it’s confined to Tarun Kaushik only. I don’t really know what I should share and what I should not. I just felt like thanking all you people, who have been around me all these years. As Ankur said, 3^rd semester is all about building relationships and relationships have got different kinds.

Life’s been awesome so far. I hope that it continues the same way. I’m enjoying it to the fullest.

I think my next post will be on spirituality. But I’ll save myself till majors get over. I know the post has gone too long. But please, bear it with me.

Till then,

Keep reading, keep commenting.

K@ushik

Facts known recently(I hope you like this new segment)

·         Obama can’t dance.

·         Snakes taste like chickens. (from highly unreliable source aka Srijan Sanket)

·         My car’s mileage is just 12. Reduces to 8-9 when I drive.

P.S. Messages

Mini jiji, viji jiji: This is my last post before majors. I’m going to study after this. So, don’t get worried.

Rheshabh, Sarneet: I’ve figured out, why I’m short of stories. Yours start with, once when I was high. Mine can’t, so am left with no other option than to be a listener.

Shweta: hmmmm :-\ or :-/  whatever it was.

Abhinav, Ayush, Abhishek, Aatish: Tum log tips de rahe ho ya nahi?

Siddharth: 5^th tu hee rahega. L

Arpit: 5^th main banna chahta hoon. Help kar yaar. Yaad hai kya decide hua tha trip par.

Dhruv: Chess nikalwade yaar.

Pawan, Jay, Dheeraj, Harsh, Somya, Avishek, Ankita: Reports time par banaya karo yaar.

Srijan: I’ve taken AI. If, somehow you manage to drop this course, you’ll be dead.

Ankur: Kab aur kahan milna hai?

Shubhankar: Delhi hota hua nikal jaa.

Rishab: Tu hai kahan aaj kal?

Snehil: Abe, Adidas ka headband lele, jaisa mere pass tha, better lagega.

Esha, Naman, Shashank, Sonia: I’m still single AND I’M HAPPY.

All: No one is going to ask about my crush. OK? This is kinda private stuff. And yeah!! No guessing around here either. Anyways, all the best.

I know it now.

One thing that I have realized lately, and am happy to realize so is that, there is professionalism involved in everything that surrounds you. I do not condemn its existence but still, you definitely feel looted once you experience so. Most of you, in fact all of you, might be wondering why exactly am I behaving so awkwardly. Actually, my latest encounters with some of my friends have encouraged me to write so.

I have always valued friendship. I haven’t got a vast friend circle, as you all know very well, but yeah!! The people I call my friends are definitely close to me. I will call it my weakness that I am like an open book to my each and every one of you. (Obviously, I’m not expecting someone stranger reading this. I doubt whether my closest friends have interest in reading this either.) You probably know almost everything about me. My past (which is anyway boring enough to share), my likings, the things I dislike and also the people I like. :O And that indeed has cost me at fairly often. I always ignored it due to my “Let it happen” attitude. Though I now realize, things are not that simple, as they pretend to be. And knowing it, is what you call experience.

“I don’t think our friendship will continue the same way as it is going on now. I doubt we’ll even meet once our juniors take over.” I said to rheshabh during our club party. I regret it now. What impression had it left on each and every one of my fellow club representatives? Obviously, no one thinks that way, and even if someone does, he/she at least doesn’t share so. But I was a bit disturbed. More than that I regret I couldn’t enjoy one of my rare outings. At the back of my mind, there was always something going on. I guess, you people didn’t notice it. But I was under a real set back due to certain reasons.

The tide had to strike back the following afternoon as well. And I don’t think I need to mention anything further. Cause not even in my dreams am I expecting you to read it. The not so good part is, I didn’t expect you to act that much foolish. Whatever, it was your choice. But from now onwards, don’t expect much from my side.

So, conclusion: Your friends are just people who are with you for some reason. They want something out of you.
No way. I still withstand with my previous take. Friends are your second family. For someone like me, mum, dad, viji jiji, mini jiji are always going to mean the most. But yeah! My friends can always count on me as well. And this is my reply.

Seriously, I can’t justify why I actually wrote it. I have gone through some changes in this semester. Why? Even, I don’t know. But, I’m not the same. I’ve gone through some turmoil. But, I’m enjoying it. I’m not afraid to share anything now. May be that’s not good; as it may hit me back again. But I’m ready. My actions are more controlled now, for that sole reason only. I no longer wish to be Shaun Kurkait. I am Tarun Kaushik and I will have to remain Tarun Kaushik.


P. S. Messages

Mum, Dad: I love you. And you can trust me blindly, cause I know what you expect from me and I assure you, I’ll never let you down.

Viji jiji, Mini jiji: I’m missing you the most. You have been my best friends for sure and I mean it. I know, I can never, meet better people than you are, throughout the rest of my life.

Shubhankar, Snehil: I wish I still had you both by my side. Cause you two are the ones who have meant something to me.

Akash, Rishabh (With I and 1 H): Hello guys. Let’s meet some day.

Arpit, Pawan, Jay, Harsh, Dheeraj, Somya, Ankita, Avishek, Abhishek: Group 1 rocks. I can say so, after attending structures with Group 5.

Pravesh, Rheshabh (Without an I and with 3 H), Nilesh, Dilpreet, Sarneet, Shweta, Aditya, Ankur, Anmol, Pranjay, Rahul: I’m lucky to be part of ISC and be with such nice people.

Abhinav, Siddharth, Arpit, Abhishek, Abhishek,Dhruv, Ayush, Ravi, Aatish: Yaar, is sem main 1 baar to kuchh bada machana banta hai yaar.

Esha, Naman, Sonia, Shashank: I’m still single.

To all: Please, please, please comment kar do yaar, pata to chale kis kisne padha hai blog.