We owe it to them

It happened a long time back. I was in school then. I came back home after the flag hoisting ceremony. By that time dad had come back from the office too. Mom as usual was busy in her work. We started watching TV. There were some patriotic songs being telecasted on some channel. I don't know what happened all of a sudden I started crying. I was saddened by the state of the country then. I don't think I was old enough to realize these things, but I could conclude, using the little intellect I had that this was not what our freedom fighters had hoped for.

My father used to read a lot about freedom fighters and Indian history out of interest. And he used to tell me about it a lot. But I was too young to realise the gravity of the sacrifice they had made so for me they were just like the fictional characters who were ideal in each sense. Netaji, Bhagat Singh, Azad, I knew about them but never realized what their ideologies must have been.

I grew up and probably dad thought that it was more important that I should focus more on my studies or may be he got busy, or may be I got too old for the bed time stories. But that feeling of patriotism found its way to the surface every now and then, when some movie based on Bharat's martyrs used to be made. Also movies, like Swades, it was the first time i had watched a movie alone in a theatre and also it did something unique. I liked a Shah Rukh Khan movie for the first time may be. Each time a movie was made about India, highlighting patriotism I used to be moved by it. I used to decide that I'll do something for my country, may be join defence services.

But it takes a lot to give lesser importance to self. Time's different now. The need is different. But that doesn't mean it was easier back then. The sacrifices made were beyond our imaginations. Now we can't even imagine what it might have been back then. How difficult it might have been for a mother to feel proud of her son being a martyr. How difficult it would have been for young boys of our age to mould their thinking in such a way, that seeing Bharat free became their ultimate goal in life. And life? It didn't matter much to them, otherwise where did that passion that led to such a sacrifice come from?

Not just the martyrs, but everyone involved played a crucial role. I too like some used to think that role of people like Mahatma Gandhi could not be  compared to the ones who sacrificed their lives. My mom was the one who made me think otherwise. She told me to look at the work that he had done for people independent of his ideologies and biases. He too had made sacrifices far superior than an average person can even think of. And indeed he was successful in binding the nation together.

Probably people like us, people like me don't have the stature to comment on the lives that these national heroes lived. Probably we will never be able to realize what their ideologies were. We would not be able to realize how they were infused with so much passion for their motherland. We would never be able to feel the situations that can motivate a person to consider his life secondary to a purpose. We can only feel the aftermaths of their sacrifice, as we breathe in a free Bharat.

Yes we haven't achieved what they had thought of or hoped for but we still have a life time to make things right. The day will come when women would be able to roam fearlessly on the streets of Delhi at midnight. The day would surely come when politicians would be concerned for the people. The day would come when equality would prevail by all means. The day would come when we would be able to say that we have evolved as a nation our martyrs had hoped for.

A day would come when

Shaheedon ki chitaaon par lagenge har baras mele vatan par marr mitne vaalon ka yahi baaki nishaan hoga!

I hope.

Jai Hind.

Just another day

What should I do? It’s 1AM on October 3. For others this might be just a date on the calendar. But for me, it’s the day I celebrate each year. Some people say, what’s so special about a birthday, it’s just a day to remind you that you are a year older. But shouldn't we be looking for the ways to celebrate, to enjoy, finding ways to be happy? Isn't that the reason we do everything, just to smile a little bit more? Well, that’s my take. I just love to be happy in all the little ways I can.

I was in a dilemma whether to go home or stay at hostel. Last year it was an altogether different kind of celebration that I was part of at hostel. It was sarcastic and funny but at the same time worth enjoying. This is my last year at IIT but I still preferred to be at home. Mom and Dad, and both my sweet sisters have always been the ones to be happier than I could be to celebrate the day. They were the ones who actually celebrated my presence in this world right from the day one.

I have some really good friends at hostel, some might not have been present ever to wish me though during last three years, but still they are the ones who made my stay so awesome. They can wait, may be next year will celebrate with them, will give a reason to meet and remember the old times. Sounding funny? No? I intended to be.

As the clock ticked to 12, I got the calls from the persons I love the most, almost simultaneously from Mini di and Viji di. Got wished by Riya for the first time as well, she tried last time too but somehow was not able to wish me. A call from Abhishek was to follow; Arpit was the next to call, then Ayush and a message from Shubhankar telling me not to sleep for another hour as he would call then. I’m assuming rest of my friends didn't have my alternate number and hence did not call. I wish I had a spare handset. Anyways Facebook notifications remind me I have some acquaintances too who are not as lazy as I am.

What will I do for the rest of the day? Probably will go out with mom and dad, have them buy me something as a gift. Obviously I still love to have them, what if I am a year older, something that happens every year. Then, may be, will go back to hostel or may be, will postpone it till the next morning. I won’t plan anything right now; I will simply do what I’ll feel like. That’s what I've been doing all this time. Now I had never thought I would be writing this non sense at least. I mean if anyone might be reading it, I bet no one might actually read till this point, might be wondering what I really wanted to say. Is it just to let you know that I was at home, or to thank people? Well I prefer other means to do so, now at least if not earlier, to do so. I just felt like writing and I won’t bother even editing it. Sometime you just do things.

I would take some resolutions for sure this year too, like, I will study more seriously, will take out some to actually play some sport, will read some good non-fiction, will sketch more often and most importantly will try to make a girlfriend. Kidding, of course, rather I am sure am going to carry this single status to my next birthday as well.

It all comes to one last thing, being happy. Some people want a big cake to be happy while lots of gifts are what some people wish for, some like to have a drink with friends while some just wan to go out and eat some good food, some like to spend time with their loved one while some like to spend time with their loved ones, some like to hear their phone ringing every other minute while some just like to sit alone in front of their computer screen and reply to all the Facebook wall posts. It’s all about what makes one happier. I got blessings from my parents, wishes from my sisters, calls from the close friends and spent half an hour writing this blog post. And I am happy.

A panoramic mystique

I had a dream last night. Well, that’s not something unique, I remember it even now, and well that is something that usually does not happen. In the dream I was walking in some dense forest. There was a slight hint of sunlight which made its way through the dense network of leaves. There was no trace of any human existence. I ran to find my way out. The creepy creatures hindered my way, I did not know the way out, and neither had I had any hope of surviving. But what did I want? What was I running from? What was my destination? Did I want to return to the life I was so far living, or did I want to see a whole new world.

I stopped by a brook, bent down to drink the clear water that was flowing very slowly. As I picked it up it turned into a dense glittering liquid. Astonished, I took a step back as the bright silver liquid found its way through my fingers. I was taken aback by whatever it was happening. Curiosity got me to have a closer look at the water. All I saw was a plain surface, replica of a mirror. A face looked back at me as I fixed my gaze where my reflection should have been, it looked familiar, as if I had seen it all my life. It looked exactly as I had wanted myself to be.

Trees grew thinner and the battle was being won by the bright sunlight that made the place shine like a giant mirror. All the vegetation was disappearing; the tiny creepy creatures were drowning in the hard surface of a long flawless mirror. The silver dense liquid flew out of the river to cover all the ground and solidify. I looked in all the directions, as far as I could. And nowhere could I find any sign of life, just a big minor which had engulfed my whole surrounding in a span of around ten seconds. I stood there staring at Sun which was now getting dimmer.

I was sitting in darkness. I could feel the giant mirror beneath me, fighting for its identity in absence of sunlight. I could not even see my silhouette in it. Over the time I had become habitual of living in solitude, but had never experienced such loneliness ever. I have my own world within myself where I am free to imagine whatever I like. But here I was in a world where there was no inside and no outside. There were no boundaries and no restrictions. There were no rules and no limits. I thought about my existence, was anyone aware of it or was I the only one? I thought about others, did I know anyone and even if I did were they just part of my imagination? Were they part of my inner world? But there was no inner world; there were no boundaries, no separations, and no classifications. I doubted my existence, I tried to find the mirror below my feet, I bent down to touch it, but it was gone.

I tried to feel my feet, but with what, I had no fingers, no hands, and no arms. I had no face, no head, and no brain. I closed my eyes which did not exist and flowed in the air that had never been there. Despite all this, I could feel. I could feel the eerie calmness that transformed into eternal peace as I accepted the reality. There was nothing to seek, nowhere to go to. I could feel the solitude which transformed into companionship provided by the darkness; the darkness which transformed into a heavenly light as I opened my light brown eyes. The mirror beneath my feet cracked to make way for the trees that had grown. The broken bits of mirror flowed back into the river. The water splashed on my face. The insects no longer looked creepy. The sunlight was warm and comforting as the Sun grew brighter and mightier.

I moved forward to look at my reflection in the water that had now become calm. There was me staring back, the person I had always known, with a slight grin on the face. It seems as if he wanted to say something, but was not ready to speak. The constant gaze was expressive enough. I grinned back at him, closed my eyes to open them and come back to the world I was familiar with. I woke up, with a message to decipher, the code had been cracked. I had a question as well as the answer.